MY LIST
Inspired by My Name Is Earl, I now embark on a path of becoming a better man. My first step is to come up with a list of bad things that I did a long time ago which I deeply regret (though I have to admit it was kinda fun when I did it way back then). I don't know if I'll be able to make good for the wrongs I did. I probably won't. But I do at least get brownie points for my confessions, right?
Here's my list.
#1 Farted in a car, flat out denied it, then went on a rant about how fat people like myself are prejudiced and are always the first to get blamed for things like this.
#2 Copied answers from a girl during a Chinese test back in kindergarten, aced the test, made dad think I was a child genius and unashamedly claimed the rewards.
#3 Called a school prefect a fat pig... causing my whole class to go through detention.
#4 Peed into neighbour's potted plants.
#5 Cheated in cards on many occasions. Too many occasions.
#6 Hustled a friend into buying me lunch for a week by pretending I didn't know how to play carrom.
#7 Pretended to be gay to break up with a girl.
#8 Broke my baby sister's tricycle because I rode it down a flight of stairs then blamed it on the neighbour kid.
#9 Ate chicken skins off other people's fried chicken then denied it was me (though I probably will pay dearly for this later in life).
#10 Gave my Moral Ed teacher a couple of phonebooks for Teacher's Day, telling her she can sit on it while she's driving since she's too short to see out of her windscreen.
Here's my list.
#1 Farted in a car, flat out denied it, then went on a rant about how fat people like myself are prejudiced and are always the first to get blamed for things like this.
#2 Copied answers from a girl during a Chinese test back in kindergarten, aced the test, made dad think I was a child genius and unashamedly claimed the rewards.
#3 Called a school prefect a fat pig... causing my whole class to go through detention.
#4 Peed into neighbour's potted plants.
#5 Cheated in cards on many occasions. Too many occasions.
#6 Hustled a friend into buying me lunch for a week by pretending I didn't know how to play carrom.
#7 Pretended to be gay to break up with a girl.
#8 Broke my baby sister's tricycle because I rode it down a flight of stairs then blamed it on the neighbour kid.
#9 Ate chicken skins off other people's fried chicken then denied it was me (though I probably will pay dearly for this later in life).
#10 Gave my Moral Ed teacher a couple of phonebooks for Teacher's Day, telling her she can sit on it while she's driving since she's too short to see out of her windscreen.
posted by bigfooz at 1:48 am
3 Comments:
beb, how can i start -
u called salvia a bean pole.
u called mariam - mariam sami kunci cos her hair was like mac's curry sauce.
u made fun of imran's purple pants.
u spit on cik hamed on the ground floor and it landed on his head.
u skipped lectures cos u wanna be the first to come down to queue up for canteen 2's fried chicken drumstick.
u said zeck was mat kental.
u called dzar pimply boy.
u broke ur dad's newly bought furniture cos u were happily thinking it was a trampoline.
u called me tantre tellytubby.
u climbed the pipes of the BA block so u could check out the BA chicks rave party.
how do i know all this? cos beb, i'm your bitchin kaki...
zaza
zWow fooz,
I never knew you had so much in you!
Seems that your past has finally caught up with you.
Zhengyi
Hmm... seems like I have add a few things on my list...
But in my defense, Salvia was a beanpole, Mariam's hair was a very odd shade of brown and Imran did look like a gay clubber from the Blue Oyster in his purple pants...
And oh... the fried chicken was heavenly. So was sight of the BA chicks. So my actions were totally justified on those two counts...
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