50 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE

It's the 50th year of independence for Malaysia and I'm in Kuala Lumpur, right smack in the thick of it. I'm actually here for business but even with the busy schedule, one can't help but be sucked in into the wave of Malaysian patriotism. From the constant playing patriotic songs everywhere you go to the display of Malaysian flags everywhere you turn... from malls to homes to the back of taxies, buses and even lorries hailing from the plantations all over... the fervour is infectious.

And the best thing about being here during their independence is... the TV ads on Malaysian patriotism. I love ads. Reason being... it's very touching, thought-provoking, funny... and most importantly, seldom corny. Guess it all stems from the genuine sense of patriotism the people here have over their country and the things they have and are able to achieve thus far. There was one ad that actually thanked the labourers and rubber-tappers for doing their part is making this nation what it is. That's something you don't see on TV everyday.

Malaysians are a proud people... and you have to admire and love them for that. They also have a way of making everything uniquely Malaysian and they are able to laugh and see humour in it. Below is an example of their sense of humour... (not too sure if it is intentional or unintentional but it's funny nonetheless)

Malaysian version of the infamous Starbucks Coffee joint

To my Malaysian friends, Selamat Hari Merdeka.

COMMENTS OVERHEARD JUST BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE

My friend Yulia asked me to post this a long time ago... in May 07 to be exact. Something she read in WIRED and she wanted me to have my take on it. Well... it's long overdue but I'm not procastinating any further lest the last comment overheard just before Apocalypse would probably be, "Could you bloody go and update your damn blog?!"

COMMENTS OVERHEARD JUST BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE

Would now be a bad time to say that I think I left the keys to the underground bunker in my other pants?

It's the first time I'm seeing this but is that a tattoo of the numbers 666 at the back of your head, Mr President?

Aww... you all look so cute in those devil outfits! But isn't Halloween still 3 weeks away...?

Dude... that goat is walking on two legs. Cool...

Live Long And Prosp....

I've got good news and I've got bad news. Good news is... we don't have to worry about bills and the mortgage anymore...

NURSING A BROKEN HEART... THEN AND NOW

Recently, my friend Jack shared about how he created a blog to secretly profess his undying love for a girl. About how he uses this as a means to reveal his innermost thoughts, his deepest yearnings, the emotional rollercoaster high whenever he is around her... and all this time, as I was reading his posts, I was thinking... damn, this guy's sappy...

Don't get me wrong. I come from a generation of he-man women haters weaned on a healthy dose (or is it... overdose?) of The Godfather, Rocky, Rambo and... well, The A-Team. We don't do emotions, we don't feelings... and we don't stay on the phone playing the never-ending "Why don't you hang up first?" game.

Well, not anymore... anyway.

What I'm trying to say is that I guess we all go through the same thing at one point in life or another. My mind wanders back to a period years ago... when I too, in a moment of uncontrolled temporary sappiness, went down a similar path.

The story begins when this hot relief teacher who's fresh out of university enters my class. It was love at first sight. She inspires me to do things that I loathed.... like Math and Geography and even... Physical Education. Seeing in her pink t-shirt, tight electric blue lycra and shorts (don't laugh... Lycra was hot then. And the pink and blue... killer colour combo) doing callistenics just brought about a stirring of... emotions. To me... and probably to the other 19 boys in my class as well.

But it was never meant to be.

So like all other boys back then... you turn to the only ones whom you felt understood you. You turn to... it's hard for me to say this but I guess it's time to come clean... the sissified big haired rockers and their heart wrenching love ballads. It is embarassing, I know. But I guess when you're hurt, the sappy lyrics speak to you.

And the way they shriek certain parts of the song to accentuate the pain they go through at octaves that can only be detected by whales and sonar... I mean, nothing says anguish better than that. Not too sure if the anguish comes from the broken heart or from the pain when you feel your "crown jewels" pinched and suffocated by the skintight leather jeans... but one thing for sure, the anguish is genuine.

So the moral of the story is... every man will have their sappy moment. If blogging helps guys today deal with the anguish as much as listening to the Ultimate Rock Ballads Volume 1 and 2 helped me back in the day, then go ahead and blog.

But Jack... if you by any chance feel that this outpouring of emotions on your blog isn't helping and if you're ever in need of something to ease that pain... I'd like to share with you the ultimate remedy... the most sappiest, most heart-wrenching, tear-jerking, ear-splitting and not to mention ball-busting rock ballad ever. A must for every heartbroken boy. Emo just doesn't cut it. Here it is, the ultimate love ballad ever... She's Gone.



Those of you with dogs... I recommend you let them out of the house or else they'd go nuts listening to this. Don't say I didn't warn you...

THE RESURRECTION

It's been ages since I was last here. I'm not even sure if I should be resurrecting my blog. Or why I am resurrecting it begin with. I guess I kinda miss the adulation of the 10 odd people that visit my blog regularly... a long, long time ago. I'm kidding... I'm kidding.

Seriously... I really do miss writing for people who actually enjoy my convoluted, inane and bizarre brand of humour. God knows why they do. Perhaps it's like those self-made sex videos... people say it's wrong and disgusting and stupid and meaningless but they just can't help bluetoothing stuff to their mobile phones because they're... "intrigued". They watch it chance they get... every single hour of every of every single day, analyzing each scene, poring through every detail...

Or is it just me?

Now before you go off thinking I'm some depraved sex fiend... let me assure you that I'm just kidding. Just merely trying to illustrate a point with my convoluted, inane and bizarre brand of humour. Seriously.

Well, before I sink deeper into this quicksand I've foolishly walked myself into, I guess I should give a brief update on what has happened with my life in the recent couple of months. In a nutshell, I've...

- Gone back to the daily grind

- Got myself a car (and a 10 year loan that's going to be a bitch to pay off)

- Gotten a tad too busy with work (which I'm sure you've noticed... seeing my absence here)

- No longer much time to exercise... not that I did much of that previously anyways

- Gone up one waist size... well, maybe slightly more. Alright, alright... slightly is an understatement...

- Shirts still fit great... when I don't exhale, that is

- Realize that I can turn shirt buttons into projectiles if I do exhale... hard

- Fallen in love with HEROES

- Decided that my superpower... is my acute sense of smell (it's true. I can smell Popeye's Chicken from two floors down. One day I'm sure that power will come to better use)

- Realized that the best way to eat Popeye's Chicken soft biscuits is with Nutella. Lots... of Nutella.

- Realized that all the Popoeye's Chicken and Nutella... is the cause of me going up one waist size

- Organised a nationwide search for the next teenage singing sensation

- Realized how old I am after being surrounded by so many teenagers

- Desperately tried to fit in with these young kids and am trying all their new fangled toys... like Facebook

- Gone on Facebook and am now addicted to Scrabulous. Unfortunely, no one wants to play with me anymore cos I always kick their ass. Damn it...

And the best thing that happened to me in the last 8 months?

- Got a cute little nephew who's now coming to five month old

This is my first post in a long long time. Hopefully it won't be my last.